The Water You Swim In
Guest Blog Post by Catherine la O’
Catherine is a yoga teacher, somatic coach, and writer based in Northern California. For over fifteen years, she has helped people navigate life transitions and relational challenges through yoga, nervous system support, and shadow work. She is the founder of Liminal Space, where she teaches and writes about the deeply human experience of living in a world that is ever-shifting. Find her at liminalspace.net.
When you've been living inside a broken system long enough, it's easy to believe you're the problem.
You're more irritable than usual, more reactive, not sleeping well, and you're engaging in behaviors that you know aren't good for you.
And somewhere underneath all of it, the inner critic gathers momentum: You're not doing enough. Something is wrong with you. You should be calmer.
But what if that isn't the whole story?
What if some of what you're carrying isn't yours — it's the weight of the water you're swimming in?
It's not because there is something wrong with you that you just can't make yourself get with the program. It's that there is something wrong with the program.
~Charles Eisenstein
Over time, a difficult environment gets into you so gradually that you stop noticing.
It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~Krishnamurti
If you are not doing okay there is nothing wrong with you. It may be evidence that you are paying attention.
People's pathologies, what we call abnormalities, whether it's mental or physical illness, are actually normal responses to what is an abnormal culture.
~Gabor Maté
Your anxiety, your rage, your exhaustion — these are not malfunctions.
They are your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do: respond to threat, instability, and injustice.
The problem is not your response. The problem is what you are responding to.
This matters because how we understand our suffering shapes how we try to heal it. If we believe the problem is us, we turn inward with shame, trying to fix ourselves to better tolerate something that should not be tolerated.
If we understand our distress as a rational response to irrational conditions, we can meet ourselves with compassion and direct our energy toward what actually needs changing.
Not by fixing yourself, but by recognizing that your mind has been co-opted by the water you're swimming in.
When we are most depleted, we isolate. We stay in the water that is making us feel bad, and we abandon the very things that sustain us: consistent movement, a nourishing community, being in nature, and moments of stillness that remind us what's ours, and more importantly, not ours.
The cleaner water is a conscious choice of where you place your attention, your body, and your time.
You are not "too sensitive".
You are a human being responding honestly to a world that is asking a great deal of you right now.
And that response — however messy — is not a symptom of your dysfunction.
It is a sign of your humanity.
Note from Matt:
The water we swim in is a metaphor of great importance. When I read Catherine la O’s essay, The Water You Swim In, it provided me with clarity and reassurance. I’m pleased to share her essay above as a guest post on my blog.
Negative emotions can overtake me at times. Catherine suggests that such feelings have a lot to do with the water we swim in— the broken systems around us. It does feel overwhelming, and it’s hard not to let it consume you when you pay attention.
Her message, though, is also one of hope. We don’t need to let dominant systems dictate our feelings; instead, we can find “cleaner water” by “where we place [our] attention, [our] body, and [our] time.” Regularly connecting to nature, community, and our bodies is a big part of it.
In a similar vein, Jessica Alba, in her Substack article, What We Were Never Meant to Normalize, writes that disconnection has become the water we swim in. Like Catherine, she suggests that broken systems, not people, are the deeper problem we must confront. These “systems organized around extraction, urgency, productivity, performance, and endless growth” constantly take us away from being present. She eloquently weaves her own story and how children enter the world in a connected state into a call for us to embrace ‘sacred rage’ as a means to reconnect to our humanity in a beautiful yet broken world.
The wisdom shared by Catherine and Jessica provides a valuable compass for the work ahead in our society. It won’t be easy, but it’s also quite simple in focusing on how we connect to the world around us. Ultimately, as they both suggest, it’s about connecting to what’s truly inside of each of us, as we are part of nature and humanity.
Place-based systems change is about trying to change the water in which we swim. In a new episode of the Next Economy Now podcast, I talk about the approach with Kevin Bayuk of Lift Economy. Kevin had many great insights to offer from his work on helping build just, regenerative, and locally self-reliant economies. See below for more details.
I’m looking forward to sharing ideas on regenerative streets in San Francisco and a regenerative Bay Area in upcoming engagements (see below). There are so many great organizations and passionate individuals working in these directions. My hope is to bring them more together and change the water in which we swim.